Rowen, check your Gnome collection.

Ahh, yes, of course! How can you not take some time of your day to admire your vast collection of Funky Gnomes. You've been collecting these little guys for over 8 years now, and counting!

You still remember the first day you managed to get your greasy hands on a Funky Gnome. The pointy hat, the nubby nose, the tiny beard, and its original blue and red outfit; It had you instantly hooked, and ready to shell out for more! Even thinking about the new releases coming up soon makes you so EXCITED! You've gotta get them all!

Oh, but here's one of your favourites: The woodcutter Funky Gnome. It was the first one of its kind which featured a textured outfit to look like a stereotypical woodcutter. They also made them have the classic large beard, which just oozes personality! This one is from the 3rd series, in which they definitely got far more experimental with what they could do with the Gnomes.

You remember the day clearly they announced the golden Funky Gnome for this series and how much you wanted it, but you couldn't manage to get your hands on them at all! To this day, still irks you immensely. Worst even: You managed to miss out on the silver and bronze ones too! Oh the tragedy!

But enough about series 3; Series 4 is where it's really at! They released all kinds of new colour variations and even began dabbling into property based Gnomes. You display those on their own shelves on the other side of the room. The Gnomes started to become more descriptive with their names in this series, which most people, like yourself, generally were in favour of.

In your opinion, having a Gnome called "Harriot" wasn't very indicative of a blue and purple Funky Gnome. So, instead, they decided to go with "Yellow Bloom" and "Green Ranger" Funky Gnome names for most Gnomes in this series' line-up. You own most of them also, but they aren't displayed on this shelf.

No, this shelf is purely for the og series.

You also hold series 5 in high regard as they released much larger versions of older Funky Gnomes from earlier series, which you bought quite a few of! The Big Red Henry on your desk is your favourite and you even got an explicit poster of him on your wall. Though that one has arms, which Funky Gnomes don't have, but whatever. Anyway, the big ones are far more plush than their smaller counterparts, making them great for couch and bed decoration! 

You placed a few of them around your room and the house, at the annoyance of your older brother and the gardener who have to stare at them whenever they enter the house. Well, you aren't sure what the gardener thinks of it, but your brother definitely isn't ecstatic about all these Funky Gnomes everywhere. At least he doesn't consider you entirely insane by keeping everything in boxes; But why would you? You aren't planning to ever sell them, so you might as well treat them with a cosy spot on your shelves instead of being stuck in a plastic encasement with no air flow.

Ok, Funky Gnomes don't breathe, but you pretend that they do, plus if they do have senses, it at least is nice that they're not judgemental about your lacking features.

Err...

You quickly head to the next subject in your mind before you bring yourself down again!

Actually, you do kinda wonder what the Gnomes think of you. Despite frequently opening up a window for some fresh air, it cannot be denied that your strong, ehh, "presence" cannot go unnoticed by the little guys. Do they like your scent? You bet they are totally into it. 

Some of your Gnomes also sleep close to your feet. Given your lax lifestyle, they would be subjected to your sweaty socks all the time. The thought of all the small erections from your Funky Gnomes is actually kind of cute to you, assuming they share your kinks, of course. But now you're just projecting your own kinks unto them, and frankly you don't know what they are truly into.

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