Alright, I added them all. Now, could you tell me why you think I would leave the house today in the first place?

I might've joked about it before but I am genuinely concerned by your prophecies.

Calling It A Prophecy Might Not Be The Most Accurate Description.

I Would Say It Is More Among The Lines Of An Educated Prediction Based On My Active Knowledge Of The Greater Things. 

There's no prediction you could make about something like this out of the blue.

So, just be honest; what demon or occult monstrosity has convinced you of it this time?

Is it the one you sacrificed your balls to?

I Assure You That Canopus Has Nothing To Do With This.

No This Is More A Long Standing Expectation,
An Event,
That Is Planned To Occur,
And Is Already Occurring,
Within The 24 Hours Of This Morning To The Next.

So it IS a prophecy. Good to know.

Semantics Aside,
It Is Important That We Prevent Its Escalation.

Ok, I have 2 questions.

Ask Away.

1) What is the prophecy anyways? This is the first time you've ever mentioned it, as far as I know.

2) Why should we prevent its escalation.

3) What does the escalation entail?

Ooh,
I Love Unsolicited Bonus Questions!

Yeah and you better answer that one too, eunuch boy!

Well,
Don't Mind If I Do!

1) So,
For A Quite A While Now It Has Been Predicted That 8 Humans From Eden Would Enter Faer,
Which You Dutch Call "Vaer",
Small Phonetic Difference there,
And With Them Would Come A Calamity Of Sorts.

Amongst The Predictions Was The Return Of A Faery Prince.

This In Particular Made Me Concerned About You.

I Think You Are The Prince That They Are Referring To Here.

Wait, wait, wait.

What has the forest next to my house to do with all this? Seems oddly specific.

Also me a prince?

Would be cool and all, but very unlikely since I am not exactly loaded or live in luxury. Let alone my brother who's just a couch slouch who has no sense of nobility either.

Lastly, a calamity? What's today? Doomsday?

Do Not Sweat The Details.

Reminder That These Are Predictions,
Not Exact Outcomes (Prophecies).

This Is Why I Want To Prevent It,

Also Because One Of Our Friends Is Already Inside Of The Forest,
And Has Already Set The Train In Motion.

Thankfully The Train Can Be Derailed By Changing The Fate Of A Few Individuals,
As Faer Reflects The Reality Outside Of It In Some Manner,
We Can Manipulate Its Events From Eden.

You're really throwing Faer around like a term. 

Also, Eden? I knew I should've joined you during those online bible study classes.

Well,
I Am Throwing Faer Around As A Term,
Because It Is.

Anyway,
On To The Next Question.

2) Like I Said Prior:
Preventing Calamity.

Even I Do Not Know How That Will Take Shape.

My Best Bet Would Be Something Related To Outside Of Faer.

Since You Live Next To It,
It Goes Without Saying That You Have The Highest Likelyhood Of Stopping Whatever It Is By Staying At Home And Doing,
Well,
Nothing,
Ironically Enough.

Hmmm... Now that you mention it; My brother recently did get a call from the local government that got somewhat heated.

I don't remember him ever getting this upset over a phone call before.

I Would Say That This Gives My Educated Prediction Some Credit,

No?

Fuck, you're actually starting to convince me.

Err, go on.

3) I...
Seem To Have Already Answered That,
So,
Allow Me To Offer Some Insight Instead!

Wouldn't be you if you weren't 2 steps ahead of everyone, but I digress.

Haha.

That Is Quite Typical.

Regardless,
An Important Thing To Remember Is That The Faer Forest Is Simply a Gateway To Faer.

There Are Quite A Few Scattered Around Europe,
But I Have Seen Them In Other Continents As Well.

Typically Within These Forests Are The Places Most Fairy Tales Tend To Take Place In.

Hans Und Gretel,
Snow White,
Goldilocks,
etc.

All Of These Originate From There.

Aren't fairy tales, you know, fake?

Absolutely!

It Has Basis In Reality,
Of Course,
But Most Of It Is Just Procured Fantasies Of The Collective Society At The Time,
Or Completely Made Up,
Like Is The Case With Pinocchio.

It's funny how the only story of the bunch having some realistic merit is the truly complete bullshit one.

Some Shit Kid Breaking Into Your House And Eating Your Food Is Far More Realistic Than A Walking Talking Humanoid Doll With Their Own Thoughts And Feelings In The 1880's.

Even Now It Is Still Quite The Stretch,
Even With Advanced Machine Learning.

At the very least the whole point of this all was just for me to stay home and jerk off or something.

Noted.

In Simple Words,

Yes.

Should be hella easy. But, Thank you for the warning anyway, even if it feels somewhat made the fuck up.

You're Welcome!

Though I Care Little If People Believe Me Or Not,
I Am Only Saying The Things I Do Because I Care.

If That Makes Me Appear Completely Mad,
So Be It!

Absolute whack.

But I love ya, crazy bro. Thanks for looking out for me!

Heh.

Don't Mention It.